“Take all your clothes off."
" Put this on; opening in the front. You’ll
also need these socks. Put all your personal belongings in this bag
and put it under the table. The doctor will be right
in.”
With a dramatic flourish of closing the privacy curtain, Nurse
Efficiency left the room.
I sat obediently in my leather look chair and waited.
The Big Bird yellow socks were making my feet sweat, but the rest of me was
shivering. Why are hospitals always twenty degrees colder than the
rest of the world?
A few minutes later Dr. Wilkins whooshed in with his magic
marker and what appeared to be a classroom full of
students/residents/nurses/techies/anesthesiologists, etc.
Somewhere at the last intersection my modesty took a right
and I turned left. I did come to a teaching hospital after
all.
Dr. Wilkins had me hold a blanket about belly-dancer height
around my hips and there I stood as he measured drew lines with his
marker, measured again and drew more dots and lines. In the end my top
half looked like a page out of mapquest.
As Dr. Wilkins explained the procedure to the class, and
they took notes on their clip boards; I listened, they nodded.
Here it is as I understood:
They were going to take a large fist full of my stomach and
stuff it up through my torso under the skin, and shove it out in
the appropriate spot on my chest. I could almost hear Julia Childs
explaining it all: “Then baste, and bake for 4 hours at 325
degrees. “
The flesh would never be separated completely from my
body, which would make the rejection factor a non-problem. It’s called a
tram flap and is cutting edge medicine (did I say
that?). The students took notes and I stood there feeling
pretty vulnerable.
One of my girl friends said to me, “Lois, every woman would
like to have a nip and tuck, completely covered by insurance.” OK,
I get that.
A six hour operation, and two hours in the post-op later,
I came to, feeling like Humpty Dumpty.
_____
It has been almost a week in bed, a few sponge baths, and
extreme sports like walking down the hallway, walking to the living room, and
getting into pajamas, later and I am beginning to believe that
there is life beyond this year.
I’m still riding the wave of learning more about the dark
side of beauty and the beautiful side of our dark times. I’m so glad for
a creative God who always mixes it up a little just when I think I’ve got him
all figured out. He’s had more whine and cheese from me than
necessary, but, He’s in this with me for the long haul. This I believe.
Thanks for listening,
Lois
